In the great awakening which we have
briefly noticed, Backus was brought to a saving knowledge of the truth. He had no opportunity to hear either
Whitefield or Tennent, but the revival which attended their labors,
"reached Norwich in 1741, under the preaching of Dr. Wheelock and
others." "This work,"
says Mr. Backus, "was so powerful, and people in general were so ignorant,
that they had little government of their passions. Many cried out and fell down in meetings. But I had so much doctrinal knowledge, that I
never was overcome in that manner. Neither
could I put off my concern, as I had done before, for a more convenient season.
No, though I was in good health, I saw
that life was forfeited by sin, and that God had a right to take it away in a
moment. I saw also that He had now given
me an opportunity to repent and turn to Him, and that, if it was neglected, I
was lost for eternity. Time was then taken
out of the way, and a vast eternity was directly before me, without any hope of
ever having another day of grace, should this be neglected. This
moved me to the earnest use of all the means, public or private, within my
reach, that I might get a good heart to come to Christ with. For all the sound teaching with which I had
been favored had given me no higher ideas than that a good disposition of mind
was necessary in order to come to Christ for salvation. But all the awakening preaching that I now
heard, and all the books which I read, were so far from producing any such
disposition, that my heart seemed to grow worse and worse daily; and I saw
seeds of all the evils of the world in me. While others were crying out and falling down
in distress, I felt like a stupid beast before God; and nothing was more
terrible to me than the fear of losing my convictions and being left of God to
a hard heart and reprobate mind; for I fully believed that now was my only time
to obtain salvation, that I should never have another day of grace. Neither could I bear to be deceived with a false
hope. When a minister once stated a case
like mine, and then said to his hearers: "If this be your case, be not
discouraged, but see if God does not appear speedily for your help," I was
powerfully tempted to cast off my concern and to hope for help hereafter. But this appeared plainly to come from the
adversary, and it increased my distress. Again, one morning these words came into my
mind like an audible voice, "Thou art not far from the kingdom of
heaven." But my soul was alarmed
thereby, through fear of being settled down in something short of a union with
Christ, and this alarm made me cry out to Him for help.
"In the beginning of August, Mr.
James Davenport came to Norwich, where he was met by Doctors Wheelock and
Pomeroy, and meetings were held incessantly for three days. People were greatly affected and many
hopefully converted, while I grew worse and worse in my own view. Powerful preaching, and the sight of many in
distress or joy, while I remained a hardened sinner, caused such anguish as
words cannot express. Yet hereby God
laid open to me the plague of my own heart and the folly of seeking life by my
own doings. My tears were dried up, and
I could find no good in me. Instead of
this I felt inclined to quarrel with the sovereignty and justice of God, and
the freeness of his grace, a grace so free that he was not obliged to have mercy
upon me after all my doings. A sight of
these corruptions increased my distress and filled me with confusion before
God. And as I believed this to be my
last opportunity, and my convictions seemed to be going off, and the work of
God to be abating among us, how awful did my case appear! But God's thoughts are as high above our
thoughts as the heavens are above the earth; for He thus drew me off from all
trust in myself or any creature, and led me to embrace salvation in His own
way.
"As I was mowing alone in the
field, August 24th, 1741, all my past life was opened plainly before me, and I
saw clearly that it had been filled up with sin. I went and sat down in the shade of a tree,
where my prayers and tears, my hearing the Word of God and striving for a
better heart, with all my other doings, were set before me in such a light that
I perceived I could never make myself better, should I live ever so long. Divine justice appeared clear in my
condemnation, and I saw that God had a right to do with me as he would. My soul yielded all into His hands, fell at
His feet, and was silent and calm before Him. And while I sat there, I was enabled by divine
light to see the perfect righteousness of Christ and the freeness and riches of
His grace, with such clearness, that my soul was drawn forth to trust in Him
for salvation. And I wondered that
others did not also come to Him who had enough for all. The Word of God and the promises of His grace
appeared firmer than a rock, and I was astonished at my previous unbelief. My heavy burden was gone, tormenting fears
were fled, and my joy was unspeakable.
"Yet this change was so different
from my former ideas of conversion, that for above two days I had no thought of
having experienced it. Then I heard a
sermon read which gave the characters of the children of God, and I had an
inward witness that those characters were wrought in me; such as a spirit of
prayer, a hatred of sin, an overcoming of the world, love to the brethren, and
love to enemies; and I conclude that I then had the sealings of the Spirit of
God, that I was a child of His. New
ideas and dispositions were given me; the worship and service of God and
obedience to His will were the delight of my soul. I found such happiness therein as I never had
in all the vanities of the world; and this I have often experienced
since."
Mr. Backus then proceeds to speak of
those alternations of spiritual joy and despondency, to which every Christian
is peculiarly subject in the beginning of his course. He observes, that although darkness at times
overspread his mind, he was unable to revive his former terrors; although
doubts in respect to his piety were experienced, he sought in vain to recover
his previous state of conviction. He
attributes his depression and distress to a want of watchfulness and to a
neglect of known duty. 1
It is true that
God only saves those who have abandoned all hope of spiritual merit in
themselves, and certainly Backus’ testimony is just another confirmation of
this truth. Lord-willing, we will glean
more from the life of this great preacher in my next post.
Christ, not man, is King!
Dale
1) Alvah Hovey, A Memoir of the Life and Times of the Rev. Isaac Backus, A.M. (Boston, MA: Gould and Lincoln, 1859), p. 37-40.
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