The sword is, as it were, consecrated to God; and the art of war becomes a part of our religion.” –Samuel Davies

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

A Soldier's Wit


   It seems as though America’s military history is filled with stories of inter-combatant dialogues between private soldiers.  Whether it is a picket standing guard over his camp and shouting to his counterpart across the way or a soldier in a trench calling out to the enemy on the other side of “no man’s land,” these anecdotes seem to reach across the years and reveal to us the indomitable spirit of the American soldier.  I believe we’re blessed, in this regard, insofar as we’ve been engaged in several conflicts involving English-speaking soldiers on both sides and this has certainly contributed to the abundance of these anecdotes.  As I was finishing my reading of Joseph Plumb Martin’s narrative of his service in the Continental Army, I discovered one such anecdote that I found especially humorous and I figured I would share it.

I saw four or five British horsemen on their horses a considerable distance from me, on the island.  When they saw me they hallooed to me, calling me, “a white livered son of a b---h,” (I was dressed in a white hunting shirt, or was without my coat, the latter, I think, as it was warm, and I wore a white under dress.)  We then became quite sociable; they advised me to come over to their side and they would give me roast turkeys.  I told them that they must wait till we left the coast clear, ere they could get into the country to steal them, as they used to do.  They then said they would give me pork and lasses; and then inquired what execution some cannon had done, just before fired from the island, if they had not killed and wounded some of our men; and if we did not want help, as our surgeons were a pack of ignoramuses.  I told them, in reply, that they had done no other execution with their guns than wounding a dog, (which was the case,) and as they and their surgeons were of the same species of animals, I supposed the poor wounded dog would account it a particular favour to have some of his own kind to assist him.  While we were carrying on this very polite conversation, I observed at a house on the Island, in a different direction from the horsemen, a large number of men, - but as they appeared to be a motley group, I did not pay them much attention.  Just as I was finishing the last sentence of my conversation with the horsemen, happening to cast my eyes toward the house (and very providentially too) I saw the flash of a gun; I instinctively dropped, as quick as a loon could dive, when the ball passed directly over me and lodged in the tree under which my comrades were standing.  They saw the upper part of my gun drop as I fell, and said, “They have killed him;” but they were mistaken.  The people at the house set up a shouting, thinking they had done the job for one poor Yankee, but they were mistaken too, for I immediately rose up, and slapping my backsides to them, slowly moved off. 1

The wit and resolve of the American soldier is priceless!  Thank God for those who fought and died to keep us free!

Christ, not man, is King!

Dale

1)     Joseph Plumb Martin, A Narrative of a Revolutionary Soldier (New York, NY: Signet Classics, 2010), p. 185-86.


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